As the new year approaches, I’ve been reflecting on how I’ve shown up for myself and others this past year. With ADHD, life often feels like a whirlwind of responsibilities and distractions. Juggling everything can leave me drained, and too often, I’ve put myself last. This year, I’m determined to change that narrative by focusing on a word that challenges old patterns and shifts my perspective: selfish.
But let me explain. I’m not adopting the idea of “selfish” as putting myself above everyone else. Instead, I’m embracing the concept of “self first,” not “self only.” It’s about recognising that prioritising my own well-being is essential for showing up fully for others. This mindset feels particularly important as I navigate how to balance my ADHD, my personal relationships, and the work I’m so passionate about.
Reflecting on My Word-Choosing Process
Choosing a word for the year is a practice I’ve adopted in recent years as a way to focus and guide my intentions. I’ve written before about the 3 steps I use to select my word of the year, and how each one helps me decide which concept I want to embody and nurture throughout the coming months. You can read more about that process here.
When it came time to choose my word for 2025, “selfish” stood out, though it was difficult to embrace at first. The negative associations with the word—greed, self-centredness, disregard for others—made me pause. But as I reflected on my personal and professional needs, I realised that prioritising myself doesn’t have to mean excluding others. It’s about finding a balance that allows me to give more of myself in a sustainable way.
Reclaiming the Word ‘Selfish’
The word “selfish” often comes with baggage—connotations of greed, neglecting others, and putting yourself first at their expense. But what if we flipped that narrative? For me, being “selfish” this year means recognising when I need rest, space, or boundaries. It’s about filling my own cup so I can pour into others from a place of abundance, not depletion.
This isn’t about pulling away from those I love or the work I value. It’s about creating a framework for thriving—both personally and professionally. I’ve realised that when I neglect my own needs, I lose the capacity to give my best to the people and projects that matter to me. This year, I’m reclaiming selfishness as an act of self-care.
Why ‘Self First’ Works
“Self first” resonates deeply because it’s not exclusionary. It’s about creating the energy and capacity to include others in meaningful ways. For me, this looks like nurturing myself through small, intentional acts: giving myself permission to rest without guilt, taking solo walks with Luca, and ensuring I have downtime built into my schedule.
As someone with ADHD, this feels particularly important. I know how easy it is to over-commit, say “yes” to too much, and then wonder why I’m exhausted. By focusing on putting myself first, I can prevent that cycle from taking over. This isn’t about perfection, but about small, sustainable changes.
Practical Ways I’m Putting Myself First
To bring this idea to life, I’m focusing on a few key areas:
- Morning Movement: I’m starting each day with intentional movement, whether that’s a 20-minute walk with Luca or stretching while I wait for the kettle to boil. It’s a small act that sets the tone for the day.
- Boundaries in My Work: As a business owner, I’m practising saying “no” more often—especially to things that drain me or don’t align with my values. Whether it’s turning down extra commitments or prioritising time for client work, I’m learning to protect my energy and give focus to what truly matters.
- Reflection on Volunteering Time: I’m also reflecting on my voluntary commitments. While I find meaning and purpose in giving time to my roles as a Brownie Guide Leader, in my work with my coaching network, and as a mental health peer support facilitator, I need to be mindful of how much time I’m offering and ensure that I’m not over-committing. Regularly checking in with my time and energy helps me stay aligned with my “self first” goals.
- Downtime Without Guilt: I’ll schedule regular time to switch off completely. Whether that’s reading, exploring nature, or simply having an evening to myself, this downtime is about rest, not just productivity.
- Solo Adventures: I’m planning moments for just me—like a day trip or an hour with my headphones on, enjoying music. ADHD often means I struggle to be still, so I’ll honour my need for movement and novelty in ways that recharge me.
The Ripple Effect: How Self-Care Supports Others
By prioritising myself, I’ve noticed that I show up better in my relationships. When I’m well-rested and emotionally balanced, I have the capacity to be present for my clients, family, and friends. It’s a reminder that taking care of yourself isn’t selfish in the negative sense—it’s a way to create the energy needed to nurture others.
This ripple effect is something I hope to model for others. I want my friends, family, and clients to see that setting boundaries, protecting energy, and prioritising rest isn’t just acceptable—it’s necessary. When we look after ourselves, we inspire others to do the same.
Looking Ahead: A Year of ‘Self First’
As I step into 2025, I’m embracing this new perspective with curiosity and determination. By putting myself first, I’m creating the foundation for everything else to thrive. It’s about showing up for me so that I can show up for others in ways that are authentic, sustainable, and impactful.
What would it look like for you to put yourself first this year? I encourage you to reflect on the small ways you can prioritise your own well-being. Because when we take care of ourselves, we create the capacity to care for the people and things we love most.
