The impact of the worldwide Covid-19 pandemic is being felt by everyone. But as with any life experience, what it may mean to you is not the same for the next person. To use a classic idiom, we may be all riding the same storm, but we are most definitely not ‘all in the same boat’.
This expression, which alludes to the risks shared by all those present in a small boat at sea, dates from the time of the ancient Greeks and has been used figuratively for many centuries. It often is stated as all in the same boat, as it was by ArtemusWard (The Draft in Baldinsville, 1862): “We are all in the same boat.” To extend the analogy, the risk may be shared, but some are more exposed, some are sheltering below deck, and others are at greater risk of being stranded, of sinking or falling overboard.
For nurses, doctors, front line care workers, hospital and care home managers, they are working harder than ever, and faced with greater personal risk each time they go to work. The physical and emotional strain on them and their families is immense. And for food retailers, refuse collectors, postal workers, those working in the supply chain for food and medical supplies, they still go out to work, their role critical in a different way to keep society functioning. Teachers and child care providers, those looking after the kids of front line care workers have a different kind of challenge – they are not just educating but are responsible for the wellbeing of the children in their care. And many have had to rapidly adapt to a virtual classroom and distance learning. For those students also adapting, this brings with it a different set of challenges, to focus, to be disciplined, all whilst being instructed to stay home.
For some, they are now suddenly trying to juggle working from home with childcare, and for all the positives this brings, such as no commute and more family time, it comes at a cost – such as feeling pulled in different directions, concerns about not being productive enough, all while not being able to do the usual activities away from work and home that help look after their individual wellbeing.
For others, their whole livelihood has ground to a halt, with no idea when it might be able to resume. Those self employed perhaps reliant on social gatherings for their income, its extremely uncertain times, the end of which is currently impossible to foresee. For some the work has stopped, their identity and security heavily weighted in this, and the mental impact is immense.
Those sociable singletons are also now feeling the impact in their own way. For all the usual advantage of your own private space, with no one to share their home with, they are physically isolated, if not emotionally. Furloughed or not, their interactions are remote and the lack of physical connection will be hard.
And for some, isolation has been the norm well before this. Whether elderly or disabled, there is a whole section of society who even before the lockdown rarely see another person from one week to the next. For them, there is perhaps a greater understanding from the rest of society what it feels like to rarely (if ever) leave the house, to have limited contact with others, and to be reliant on help and home delivery to just survive.
So for all the stillness and calm that this lockdown brings, and the opportunity to stop, slow down and use time differently that it affords some, for so many of us it brings a different challenge, an increased level of pressure both physically and mentally, and one that will last long after lockdown is lifted. For each of us our health, finances, relationships, home life, business and career will be affected to a greater or lesser extent, and likely handled differently to what might have been expected before this pandemic. Whilst the phrase ‘a new normal’ could be used, we are all needing to rapidly adapt from what might have been to a different way of life, not just for the short term, but undoubtedly for the long term as well. It likely won’t feel normal for a while.
I have friends and family in each of these different boats, and then there’s my boat. I know with my own set of circumstances I have a great deal to be grateful for, but I also have a lot to worry about, some of which is in my control and some not. Working from home was already normal for me, and I’ve a lovely home, a partner and our fur baby for company. But I have vulnerable relatives I can only call to check in on, reliant on others to care for them. And I have family and friends whose income has been seriously affected by social distancing. What I am reminding myself daily through this whole experience is to be kind to myself and to others. You may have some understanding but you will never fully know what someone else is going through. We look at life through our own lens, naturally, but as we do it’s worth taking note of what we can be grateful for. That being said, we should also remember we are entitled to feel the way we do about our situation. Comparing shouldn’t lessen how you feel, or make you feel guilty for the pain you may be experiencing. But staying in a place of pain for too long isn’t helpful. Taking steps towards a place of joy rather than pain is needed to feel better.
So what small step can you take today? It may be as simple as journaling something or someone you are grateful for, or one task you have completed to move you forward. Be kind to yourself. One step at a time.
