So many have taken the lockdown periods of 2020 to reset some habits, making the best of the limitations of being at home much more by tackling areas of their lives that the pace of day to day life had simply prevented from happening, Whether it has been decluttering the house, doing DIY, participating in ‘PE with Joe Wicks’, and even walking more frequently. As with many healthy habits, after a few weeks, we can really appreciate the benefits.
Equally, being at home more may have had us forming unhealthy habits in place of our usual good ones, whether that’s because we rely on social connection and routine to keep going with certain behaviours, or we have had less access to support to look after our own wellbeing, and so certain healthy habits have been more challenging to maintain.
However, as we have adapted to the ‘new normal’ of working from home (if possible), less travel and socialising, and just taking life at a slower pace, the notion that when life eventually gets back to some sort of normality and kicks in at full pace…what will happen to our new habits? Personally, I’ve given up so many times when giving new healthy habits a try, even though I understand healthier habits create happier lives.
In my search to understand more about why we form habits, why certain habits stick whilst others fail when the going gets tough, my reading has taken me to my latest book on the subject.
“Tiny Habits” by BJ Fogg PhD is a great read by a Stanford Professor who’s successfully helped 40,000 people achieve long-lasting healthy habits. 4 steps in particular really struck a chord with me.
- Don’t beat yourself up
- Tiny is perfect
- Debrief is a must
- Celebrate immediately
Don’t beat yourself up for failing at a new habit
I think we have all done this at some point. We start a new habit, let’s say…a new healthy diet. A few incredibly disciplined minutes, hours, days, and weeks pass by… and then we give up. We then proceed to beat ourselves up, saying things like, “why couldn’t I stick to it’, “I have the willpower of a Labrador when sausages are around”, “what’s wrong with me”, “I’m never going to look how I want to”.
This is brutal. You don’t deserve this internal torture.
Professor Fogg suggests looking at the scenario as if someone gave you the wrong recipe to bake a cake. At some point during baking, you realise the recipe isn’t right for you. Often the generalised guidance we think is correct doesn’t take into account the uniqueness of who you are as an individual.
Tiny is Perfect
We live in a world with Amazon Prime – we click – we get it the next day. Such an easy and quick result. It’s not only Amazon. For the past decade, everything in our lives has been tailored to create instantaneous results. If only healthy habits could be like this…well they can be (in a way).
Evidently, we need to break down these healthy habits into tiny bitesize chunks. Tiny is quick (time). Tiny is Easy (effort). Tiny creates SUCCESS (results). Success with a habit is super motivational and is less likely to fail.
Debrief is a must
This ties into Step 1, don’t beat yourself up. We often skip ‘the debrief’ after a habit has failed as it’s just too painful to reflect on. If we can’t analyse why it didn’t work, generally we can’t learn and create a better recipe for the next bake.
Extra Note: Without Steps 1 and 3, the result is usually a blow to our self-esteem. It’s hard to approach a new healthy habit for a while. We don’t want to beat ourselves up again.
Time goes by and the emotional pain of not doing any self-improvement increases (let’s say we put on weight). The pain rises to a point where we eventually explode with motivation to make a BIG change in our lives and we start a new healthy habit.
However this new habit is not tiny (“we need a BIG change, I’m in pain here, results now!”).
We didn’t debrief from the last time…it’s time to beat ourselves up again.
By considering the above tips this doesn’t have to be the case.
Celebrate immediately
Achieving your habit should be celebrated, no matter how small. A simple act of celebration (whether that’s a fist pump, a ‘yay’ or a happy dance – you choose you) signifies you rewarding yourself in the moment. It may seem daft at first, and a little awkward but there is science behind it. Habit research often talks about the link between cue, habit and reward, in terms of habit-forming, and this is certainly true. But it’s the dopamine release we get from that ‘reward’ that helps to wire the new habit. So timing is in fact more critical than the reward itself. Delayed gratification is never quite as satisfying, and sometimes counterproductive in fact.
How this relates to the current climate
Recently we have lived in a false environment where many have had more time and capacity to approach healthy habits. It’s made it easier than usual. But on the flip side of that our usual routines have been turned upside down and so many healthy habits that link into our routines have likely been set aside as we just get by. So I hope as we get back to some sort of ‘normal’ the ball gets rolling, when life gets faster, these new tools help you keep and pursue new healthy habits.
Putting habits into practice
Sharing some of how I’ve personally put my learning and top tips into practice, I’ve started looking at how I can build exercise into my day without it feeling too hard. When I feel unfit the idea of doing a ‘workout’ just overwhelms me. Rather than beat myself up, tiny habits have been a great way to start small and build up from there.
I’m a tea-a-holic (Yorkshire obviously) for which the kettle gets boiled multiple times a day, so this felt the ideal ‘anchor’ for a new fitness habit. So now, each and every time I switch on the kettle to make a brew I do at least 2 squats. In reality, I probably do 5 or more each time but by setting the habit low, making it something that can be done simply stood where I am, there is no excuse not to do it, and by the end of the day I’ve clocked up a fair few.
Interestingly I started out by wanting to do sit-ups and star jumps and other simple exercises. And in the time it takes the kettle to boil there’s certainly room to fit that all in, but I found myself not wanting to do it all every time. Remembering not to beat myself up, I debriefed and assessed what would feel less of a chore (yep, I don’t enjoy exercise really). I scaled it back, simplified it and just 2 squats as a minimum is my tiny habit now. And to celebrate I simply smile to myself and say an internal ‘yay’ (British modesty at its finest!). But it’s working, it’s enough, and it’s already become almost automatic. It’s fair to say, the methodology behind tiny habits works!
What tiny habit might you build into your routine today?
